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 Wednesday, November 25 2015 @ 02:16 PM PST

We Got The Axe!

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2006 Waterpolo National Champs!

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Cal wins 2006 Waterpolo National Championship in the last second of play! Click here for the video clip!
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Only a Miracle Can Save the Cardinal

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Hail to California I wanted to use singular-plural agreement with the title and Joe Starkey’s 1982 Big Game call, but does “Cardinal” agree with “Bears?” Come on, Stanfurd, give up on the Cardinal experiment. Well, after this Big Game, maybe. On a day when you need a miracle, your nickname might be appropriate.

The Stanford Daily reported on the boisterous pep rally at the base of Hoover Tower last night. That seems like an appropriate setting to commiserate about the Great Depression that is Stanfurd football these days.

We missed – as did all but about 200 Stanfurd students – a classic display of class from a Stanfurd administrator. As the campus newspaper reported, Dean of Freshman Julie Lythcott-Haims – is there only one freshman? – inspired the “crowd” with these words: ”If one of those Cal weenies dares to taunt our student section, I’ll kick their you know whats,” she said. Nice touch, Julie.

This Big Game concerns me, mostly because the score will be 0-0 until about 12:05 p.m. I feel good, but I’m a little less confident about Cal than I was about Georgetown before their 1982 national championship game against Villanova.

Regardless of the result, we’ll play Texas A & M in the Holiday Bowl. Hey NCAA: nice playoff system. I’m concerned about our motivation, but if our players care about the Big Game half as much as my friends and I do, we’ll do fine.

Four in a row in the Big Game does not satisfy me. Let’s enjoy the drive for five and celebrate one hell of a ride by this senior class. Jump on them early and often, Bears, and give every senior a chance to Play. Thank you Steve Levy, thank you Daymeion Hughes, thank you one and all. I'm going with Cal 56, Stanfurd 0, making it Cal 182-32 in the five Tedford years. In other words, Stanfurd down by 150. Let’s Go Bears.
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Pass the Salt, Please

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Hail to California

I guess that I picked the wrong week to start a low-sodium diet. I’m a little salty about last Saturday’s events in South Central, and I don’t mind telling you.

Whenever I criticize Coach Tedford, I begin with this preface that I never envision changing: I am thrilled that we have him. I promise that I will not donate to the Arizona Cardinals’ coaching fund, for instance.

I criticize because I care. Consistent with my masochistic existence, I watched my recording of the Cal-U$C game. These truths became more evident in my living room than in the fog of the Coliseum that night:

Tedford is one of the most passive big-game coaches in my memory. I should qualify that statement by pointing out that my memory often fails to tell me whether I shampooed thirty seconds earlier.

I have never seen a coach take less advantage of 2nd-and-1 opportunities. In five years in that situation, Tedford has run the ball somewhere around 100% of the time. This year, we’ve had more trouble running for a yard than I’ve had getting out of bed after a post-game night in Berkeley.
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Oski Impaled!

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Oski Wow-Wow!
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I've Had Enough

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Hail to California To help fire myself up for Saturday’s Rose Bowl battle between Cal and U$C, I’ve been listening to The Who’s “Quadrophenia.” As usual, the album resonates for me in today’s world. Some of Pete Townsend’s brilliant lines bounce back into my head as I write about last week’s game and this one.

You were under the impression
That when you were walking forward
You'd end up further onward
But things ain't quite that simple.

Excuse me if I’m a little bitter about our trials and tribulations in Tucson. I’ll begin with my bottom line: I’m thrilled that we have Jeff Tedford at the helm. Does that mean that we give him immunity from criticism? Absolutely not. The nation spoke loudly last week, voting for Congressional oversight.

You thought you were chasing a destiny calling
You only earned what we gave you

Compliment #1 of a precious few in this post: Tedford criticized himself after our crazy loss to the Wildcats. Remember the days of such leaders of men as Keith Gilbertson? The guy disparaged his players in the media so much, he blamed them for not stopping him before he devoured a dozen doughnuts.

No surprise, I told lies
I’m the punk in the gutter
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A Loving Cup of Joe

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Hail to CaliforniaI do not have much to report after getting by Bye last Saturday. I’m fired up for the Joe Roth Memorial Game tomorrow. I’m also a little bitter about letting one slip away at the Rose Bowl last year, so let’s focus and dominate our little brothers.

Roth led the Golden Bears to a Pac-8 co-championship in 1975. Why was it only the Pac-8 then? Well, that was before Arizona and Arizona State joined the league, making it the Pac-10, and now with the Stanfurd situation, it’s known as the Pac-9.

Why did ESPN show a junior college game last night, I mean, the Louisville-West Virginia game? Those teams are embarrassing. As my friend The Mighty Fee said, we could drop a 60 on either of those squads. The Cardinals surrendered 353 yards rushing and coasted to victory. Heck, the Cardinal usually gives up less than that. Their defense was softer than my stomach after a week of Oktoberfest.
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2nd Generation iPod Shuffle Unboxing

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This really does not belong here at but since Apple is one of our sponsors, here's a link to the new iPod Shuffle unboxing. It could be a nice gift for a fellow Golden Bear (especially if you load it up with Joe Starkey's rendition of THE PLAY!).

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The Time and a Half of Our Lives

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Hail to California
• We had to work overtime at Memorial Stadium last Saturday in Cal’s thrilling 31-24 victory over valiant Washington, and man, is my voice box tired. Mama’s got a voice box, Daddy will never sleep at night again if he needs to sweat another one of those games out.

• I developed a respectful hatred for Tyrone Willingham while we became his female dog for seven Big Games, but man, can that guy rally a group of college football players. Playing on the road against a Top 10 team with our backup quarterback? Losing the turnover battle by five? Sure, we’ll take them down to the wire.

• That wire was about to join me in the emergency room after the successful Husky Hail Mary forced overtime. As a scrub high school cornerback who played one year of organized football in his life, I learned how to defend the Hail Mary so well, I wake up in a cold sweat every night yelling “Knock it down!” Do you think that the Cal coaches might spend a little more time on this?

• In other news, Nicole Richie checked herself into a rehab facility because she has a difficult time gaining weight. A large group of Midwestern women sent her an e-mail that said, “Boo-hoo!”

• The women would have sent Nicole a text message, but like me, they couldn’t figure out how to write one. When did I sleep through that class? I have friends who can write and text me two short stories in thirty seconds, and when I try to compose a reply, it takes me a half an hour to write what looks like the first entry in the Swahili dictionary.

• The Republican National Committee aired a television ad in Tennessee condemning Democratic Senatorial candidate Harold Ford Jr.’s appearance at a Playboy Super Bowl party. You know that the Bob Corker campaign is worried about losing when they stoop so low to say, “Hey buddy, you’re single, you like women, and we can prove it!”
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Wait Til' Tyrone Sees Us, He Loves Us

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Hail to California In the initial BCS Standings, Cal earned a #10 ranking. In other words, that’s one place ahead of Tennessee. I have not taken a logic class recently, so please explain that one to me.

I point out this anomaly to illustrate that Cal is not the only school to suffer from BCS idiocy. The system has more flaws than my 40-year-old body.

There is better news for both Tennessee and Cal. At this early stage, the rankings do not matter much. They do matter to a degree, if you have national championship aspirations. Just ask Auburn, whose 2004 squad had to hurdle too many teams to reach the Top 2.

Cal fans do not need to suffer from BCS stress this year. Here’s the deal: if we win out, we go to the Rose Bowl at worst. That’s a pretty good problem to have.

After enjoying Tennessee hospitality on Labor Day weekend, I feel for my Tennessee friends. I appreciate computers, but you cannot always trust them.’s computer ranked me #6 in its list of San Francisco eligible bachelors, and no woman has e-mailed me except someone who swam for East Germany in the 1980 Olympics.
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